\u201cA Successful Marriage Requires Falling in Love Many Times,
\nAlways with the Same Person.\u201d
\nNoted American journalist and author Mignon McLaughlin had said this, which in the present context seems quite interesting and applicable.
\nMarriage is a change of life’s orbit. Marriage is a path to understand other person,not to pressurize him\/her to follow.
\nFrom the very stage, we come to this earth, we come under this orbit and our life takes turns as the orbit moves. Before marriage, we are under the influence of a single(Our own) orbit of life. We tend to live our way and enjoy doing so for years together. But when we get married, we share our orbit with someone else and vice versa. So naturally, some kind of interference is obvious when two different orbits try to influence each other.
\nLike the theory of \u201cInterference of wave energy\u201d. It can be a positive interference, where two waves interfere with other to give rise to super-imposed wave of much bigger wavelength. Or, it can turn out to be a negative one, where both the energies try to negate each other and the powerful one suppresses the other, losing out some of its own energy during the course.
\nMarriage is compared to a plane journey; it is exciting until you have made one. We love flying; however, as soon as some turbulence occurs, we tend to fear or even freak out. Though the intensity differs for everyone. Some people fear a lot, while some people try to stay calm and maintain their calm.
\nHave you ever wondered why? Why we behave differently under the same influence of fear?
\nBehavioural Research reveals that we all experience fear. Only the scale can vary person to person. If we are able to control or overpower the feeling, we come out a winner and feel better, else we get under its grip constantly and there is trouble.
\nMarriage is just similar to that. As we share each other\u2019s orbit, it is obvious that come friction or difference will occur in any form. Due to our behavioural issues, sometimes small problems look very big and we keep on discussing, arguing or fighting over that. However, if we take a pause and care to learn the basic difference, or someone comes for our rescue and helps us understand the same, we get to know that argue over useless things.
\nThis is where, the role of the Marriage Counsellors or a Psychotherapist is realised. A marriage Counsellor can suggest you how to handle those differences. Proper counselling can help you intelligently handle the situation and fine-tune with your better half with whom the differences are there. The role of such professionals or experts is to explain you what can be changed and what can be accepted, so that both of you can happily leave the negatives behind and enjoy life to the fullest with each other.
\nIf you analyse, currently divorce cases are increasing in our society. However, the truth is that divorce is not the solution for a better life; it never guarantees for that.
\nDivorce is just a by-product of misunderstanding and an unhealthy relationship.
\nTo understand why divorces occur, we need to understand the types of marriages happening in our society.
\nTypes of Marriages:
\n1.\tArrange Marriage
\nIn arrange marriages, we judge or presume the behaviour and nature of the person in a very short time, precisely in one or two meetings. Sometimes the judgement become correct and sometime they are not. But our first impression impacts a lot of the rest of our life. This is where we the biggest mistake of our life. How can we become so sure about a person just in a moment?<\/p>\n
Like we say, \u201cA little knowledge is a dangerous thing\u201d, we put our entire life and a pious relationship of a lifetime at stake. <\/p>\n
2.\tLove Marriage
\nIn this sort of marriage, we maintain a long relationship with a person. We get enough time to know or judge each other and then only we go for marriage. However, do we completely know each other while staying in a love relationship?<\/p>\n
Apparently, No!
\nThe main factors are:<\/p>\n
a.\tWe try to show artificial face to each other.
\nb.\tThe situations and conditions change with time.
\nc.\tThe orbit sharing issue is also there after the love relationship turns into marriage.
\nThe gist is that – we work just under \u201cImpulse\u201d and not under \u201cIntellect\u201d.
\nIn both the cases, we start focusing on the mistakes of the opposite sex. This creates a lot of misunderstanding and aggravates the situation further. We forget what is beautiful between both of us. We have never cared to accept each other.
\nThere many reasons for these differences. If we try to consolidate, then the main reason for differences are:
\n1\tTransparency
\nWe don\u2019t focus on transparency and always try to hide things. Therefore, result impacts the relationship badly.
\n2\tFaith
\nFor saying we are the \u201cbetter half\u201d of each other. But, practically we don\u2019t act like one. We start boggling on each other and all mundane things like expectation of sex life, anxiety over the past life and current life etc.
\n3\tMistake
\nWe are humans, so we make mistakes. But we do mistake, so are we humans. God is the only one, who does not do any mistake. The time we accept this fact, then we are on the path of improvement. Hesitation in acceptance creates indifference and we choose the wrong path again.
\nThe marriage counsellor works around these differences and brings both the souls onto the same page. Then, the literal meaning of \u201cLive Happily Ever After\u201d comes into reality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cA Successful Marriage Requires Falling in Love Many Times, Always with the Same Person.\u201d Noted American journalist and author Mignon McLaughlin had said this, which in the present context seems quite interesting and applicable. Marriage is a change of life’s orbit. Marriage is a path to understand other person,not to pressurize him\/her to follow. From … <\/p>\n