Parent Counseling 

                   पुनश्च विविधैः शीलैर्नियोज्या सततं बुधैः।
                 नीतिज्ञा शीलसम्पन्नाः भवन्ति कुलपूजिताः।।

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          Most of us consider parenting to be a gift by nature itself. Just about every one of us wants to be able to enjoy it. We see a baby and smile, we hear them laugh and it melts our hearts. It is beautiful.

For new parent though, at times we feel like that things aren't going our way with the child. We may believe that the child is being very aggressive or the child is being difficult. 

But it is extremely rare that it is the child's fault. Most of the time, it is the parent's inexperience and their inability to be ready for such a beautiful but a sudden change in life; the child's presence.

Due to the fact that parents aren't generally ready for the responsibilities or the pressure and the stress it always ends up disturbing them internally.
According to Chanyaka, childhood can be divided and expressed in three phases of years.

For the first four years - The child belongs to the Mother,

For the next four years - The child belongs to the Father,

Finally, for the next four years - The child belongs to himself/herself.

a. First Four Years

In the first four years, even the psychologists suggest, that this is the stage where the child learns everything from the Mother. This learning is what the child will then carry forward for years to come.

 In some cases, even throughout the adult life. In these years, if the mother acts aggressively or is short-tempered then there is a strong possibility that the child will pick this up and act the same for a large part of his/her life.

During these years the entire family should work together to make sure that the mother is not stressed or tensed. The family should actively try to maintain the peace and the stability required for the child.

b. Next Four Years
During these four years, the child follows and learns from the father and the other adults within the family. Here everything the father is in front of the child is what the child absorbs. 

So, in case the father is aggressive, stressed or has a type of addiction, the child will learn it and take it forward with his/her years to come.

There are several documented cases where the father used to have drinking problem, even after the father was able to gain control over the addiction and stop drinking, the child picked up the drinking habit. 

The father, in this case, is the creator of this habit and should be the one to help the child as well. Parents should, in general, avoid any negative addictions, aggression, or similarly negative behavioural issues around the child. This helps the child to grow up as a better, kinder and an involved person.

c. Between eight to the twelfth year

During this phase, the child tends to learn from the peers around him and the friends he/she has made. This is a stage where the child will use all the learning he has had from the Father and the Mother and mix it with everything he/she learns from the group of friends and even the school they may be attending. 

The phase is especially crucial for the child because the child will be experimenting with a lot of different social and personal aspects of his/her life. In a way, they are now developing their roots.

This stage is well managed by the parents with the help of positive reinforcement and suggestions that are actually specific to the child. They need a friend more than a parent during this phase.

Parents, if are careful and disciplined can help a lot in the development of the child's future. 

We can use an example here of Rawana. Rawana was very intelligent and qualified yet we call him a Rakshasa. So why did he behave like a Rakshasa given how capable he was?

We know from history that His Mother was Rakshasa while his father was a saint. He learned his Rakshasa ways from his mother while his father gave him the education. Mixing the two and his own experience, he became an intelligent person who acted like a Rakshasa (read cruel).

In the end, we need to give the child the right path for his/her future and that is a pro-active responsibility of the entire family together.
 

Watch Video 

https://youtu.be/kWGXW503WYc

https://youtu.be/RZTDXoT8iss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWGXW503WYc